Monday, January 23, 2012

Parenting: Making of a good human being

Bringing up children is one of the commonest task, and seems the easiest. Everyone does that? You may think this until you are a parent. Once you become a parent you realize that it is very-very challenging. Personality of a child is usually the reflection of their upbringing. Children are considered as the future of the nation and parents play a pivotal role in shaping the future of their children.

Parenting is raising a happy, well-mannered child which includes the course of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social, and intellectual development of a child from childhood to maturity. And good parenting is helping the children to shield against the nervousness, depression, loneliness and many types of psychological distress.

Clichéd may seem, but here are some extremely important points which must be adopted when bringing up your children.

Spending quality time with children

Your children need you, in person. No doubt, parents always love and care about their children but many of them in the present scenario, are running after money, career and social status and could not spare much time for them. 

Help your children to learn different things right from the childhood. Concern for children is not just fulfilling duties but it's about expressing love & care, paying attention, sharing and understanding their feelings & dreams and making them disciplined and strong. Spending some quality time with children certainly enriches strengthens the bond of love between parents and children. Prefer not to leave your child on nannies at very early and tender age.

Making them independent

Building confidence is the first and foremost step towards making of an independent personality. Helping them to be independent mainly involves giving your child enough freedom to explore, learn and take their own decision. It promotes the development of rational inquisitiveness, motivation to learn and desire to achieve. In this course parents need to make them feel secure. Encourage them to do their small chores by their own like bathing, dressing up, doing their homework, eating their meals and keeping the used plate in the sink. It will help them to understand their responsibilities. Just give suggestions or opinion and closely observe.

Never say "You won't be able to do this".

Speech therapy at home

Many children hesitate to speak in public. Encourage your child to make eye contact and speak. Speak confidently. Many children have the habit of asking what? Why? When? Don’t get annoyed and discourage them. They must learn in the learning period. Encourage them to participate in speech contest and elocutions at their school so that they can become confident in public speaking.

Even your kitchen can be a learning place for them!

Offer choices 

Be it choosing their own things or some special things for home; give them an opportunity to choose. It will make them feel important.

In the teenage period, encourage your child to take autonomous decisions. Especially regarding their studies and career. A child may feel suffocated when they don’t get desirable freedom to choose what they like to do. Unless they are not going in the wrong direction, (you have to a keep an eye on them) don’t force your choice. Allow Freedom to make choices for their own life. Just make sure that they are safe.

Protect them against depression 

“A 12 year-old boy hanged himself in the school toilet because he had failed some exams.”

“An 11 year old girl, who was a promising dancer and had appeared in a couple of television reality shows, also took her own life perhaps due to rejection.”

These headlines have become very common these days. Keep eyes on your children. Check their behavior. Are they trying to be recluse? Try to comprehend their mental state, their worries or their distress. Make them comfortable not scared so that they feel easy to share their feelings and problems with you. Your soft and friendly approach can prevent children from anti-social behavior, delinquency, and drug and alcohol.
Give them freedom

First of all, you and your children need to understand the real meaning of freedom.

Avoid too many restrictions as in some cases it can instigate them to revolt or they may start
hiding things from their parents.Your independent and confident child won’t get carried away by things just because other kids are doing it, as long as you instil good values in your child. Too many restrictions also tamper the self esteem of the children.

But at the same time, if you give your children too much freedom they may consider themselves a free bird and may misuse the liberty and may make wrong choices.

'I’ll-do-whatever-I-want-to-do' & 'I'm always right' attitudes are not the real meaning of freedom. So, take care of the mindset and self control of your children and keep balance between the freedom and discipline. It's important to be disciplined

Set some rules and limits. 

Be strict when necessary. Punish them if they are wrong but be reasonable. Furthermore make them understand why they are being punished. Enforcing rules, regulations and discipline should start at the early stage. Don’t wait until your children grow up. But, don't be cruel. It won't make things better. 

Don't forget to praise when they perform well.

Preventing your child from sexual abuse   

Sexual abuse of children is a more common (Than it seems), and very upsetting fact or I should say threat to our society. Teach your children about the privacy of body parts. It is very important to understand any striking change in behaviour of your child. Build a compassionate relationship with your children so that they can feel comfortable in sharing any misconduct enforced on them. Pay attention at home as in many cases sexual maltreatment or harassment happens at home.

Check the eating disorders of children 

Keep a watch on the rising obesity in the children; it is the responsibility of parents to check on the eating habits of their children. Instill the good and healthy eating habits in them. Again, right from the childhood. Avoid giving fast food, fried food and too many sweets. If you are controlling the diet of your children, it does not mean you don’t love your child. 

Make them understand the value of relationships

In the present scenario of our society, the family is shrinking. Very few people prefer joint family and try to limit themselves in the nuclear shell. In this process, children tend to forget their roots. Importance of grandparents, uncle, aunts and cousins is diminishing. Keep your children in touch with your family. Make them understand your customs. Teach them to respect their elders.

   Keeping marital harmony between at home

The Child's education is mostly from observation and imitation. Try to keep the atmosphere of your home peaceful. Disharmony and fights between parents affects the children very badly. So, avoid confrontation and arguments in front of the children. Also never imply gender or any kind of discrimination between your children.

On an ending note, being a parent is a very difficult and complex task. There’s no scope for mistakes. So be extremely careful. It’s the question of the development, morality and future of your children.


  1. I think we become a better human being in the process. I agree with what you said here...

  2. Your presentation is quite informative and gives step by step
    analysis to develop a balanced
    personality of a child.

    I am really impressed and feel pleasure to come on your blog.

    Thanks a lot Tarang.

    If you like Hindi Blogs,please visit mine also.

  3. great stuff...and very practical...and sadly much i work in the homes of children doing counseling and many of these basics are missing...

  4. All good points. Now I just need some help on developing greater patience...

  5. It is funny in that one would think that things have improved for the children of the world, but sadly I am not so sure if that is true.

    If everyone followed what you have written then things would definitely improve.

    Thanks for sharing this info with us for this weeks Theme Thursday. Someday maybe there will be a perfect balance for the children of the world.

    God bless.

  6. @ Saru Singhal: Yes, you're right. Thanks!:)

    @ Rakesh Kumar: Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it:)

    @ Brian Miller: Thanks!:)

    @ Kris: Patience is one of the greatest virtues.Thank you:)

    @ Mrsupole: Thank you so much! I'm so glad that you liked it:)