Dealing with the Emotional Burden of Your Child. BM Day 11

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There are several cases when children experience and stifle mental/emotional torture. It can be more painful because if they can't share their thoughts and agony. Why? Maybe because of fear or shame, or lack of friendliness in parents’ behavior. It is important to know what's going on in your child's mind. It is not just about their mental disturbance, but sometimes, it is related to the child's safety in schools or many such places where the child spends time, away from the parents.

It is true that nobody can understand your child better than you, but you need to keep a watchful eye for any striking change in your child’s behavior.

“Behaviour may vary from child to child,” says Ms. Abha Singh (M.Phil, NIMHANS), Consultant Child Psychologist, Confidence Clinic, Gurgaon. “They may turn into a recluse, or decline involvement in any activity. In some cases, children behave aggressively,” she continues.  “Parents should avoid blaming their children for every emotional/mental trouble they face in school, and adopt understanding approach,” Ms. Abha Singh suggests.

What could be the possible causes for child's mental trauma?

Abusive behavior of teachers or any other school staffs. 

Sexual harassment

Bullying

Academic pressure. Expecting them to be super-star kids.

A good relationship burgeons with good communication. If you notice any absurd behavior in your child, talk and share your concern with your child’s class teacher or even the principal or maybe your child's friend's parents, if needed. 

And, most importantly, talk to your child. Make sure you ask about his/her day in school every single day. Stay closely attached. Show your interest in your child’s friends. Talk to them when they visit. It’s not just about courtesy. You must know who your child’s friends are.

Psychological Tricks to make your child comfortable

Don’t pester him with your urgency. Give him some time, but watch him silently yet intently.

Keep your tone and approach friendly. Being strict is essential at times but in such cases being stern won’t help.

Spend some quality time together. Maybe a walk or gardening. Share your own childhood stories and tell him how you made some silly mistakes. It will encourage him to open up.

Don't disagree right away. Show that you agree with his thoughts and understand him completely. You can make him understand later.

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