Monday, October 17, 2011

What’s your complexion?

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Shyamli is masters in mathematics and takes tuition up to graduation level. She is a great cook and a very good natured 29 years old girl. Despite all these qualities, her parents are worried about her marriage. The reason is simple. She has a dusky complexion.

She has been rejected several times because of the colour of her skin. All her attributes have shrouded behind the desire to get a fair complexioned woman.

Sometimes, she had been displayed in front of few prospective alliance and “so called judge” of her beauty. Some of them even asked for a vast dowry to compensate her complexion. Disgusting! It's perfectly okay if the boy is ugly. His wife has to be an angel. 

There are so many families, where in-laws prefer and give more importance to a better-looking, fair-skinned bahu. I’ve known some families who rejected some qualified girls to get a fair complexioned bahu.

Unfortunately, in our country, there are lots of Shyamlis. Some part of our society needs to change its perception.

You might have seen so many fairness cream advertisements in which they display that no matter what quality a girl has, but she has to be fair to get confidence and success. In an advertisement, a girl sings like a cuckoo, but she has no confidence of singing because she is not fair. I don’t understand what fairness or beauty has to do with your singing ability. Beauty of a singer is her/his voice. Beauty of a writer is her/his words. Beauty of an artist is her/his art. An amazing talent is a beauty itself. I think confidence comes with knowledge, efficiency, talent and skill.

One has to recognize and work hard to chisel the hidden talents. Confidence and success are inevitable. Mannerism, pleasant nature, style of conversation and talent are actual beauty no matter which complexion anyone owns.

Shared @ Theme Thursday


  1. Your brief essay is so true Tarang.
    Due to society and this desire that
    is instilled in boys/men for a very
    fair woman.
    I've have seen many men and women,
    as well as families hurt by a woman they secretly felt is more desirable really due to her complexion - while in reality not only was the woman not as pretty as the boy and his family as well as society tried to
    pretend - her heart was very unattractive and the ripples are often played out for years to come.

    Very brave of you to speak out on this subject.


  2. Thank you so much Paige! Glad you liked it:)

  3. nice...society is always looking to seperate by our differences instead of celebrating them...the appearance has itself often been a dividing line but also when that is the only allure leaves a love rather empty

  4. diversity is almost one of every organization's theme in America, folks do have version to accept the ones who look or think differently, yet, actual citizens cannot or may never actually fully get it or take it,

    great insights.

  5. Real beauty is in the heart, soul and spirit ... it is a shame more cannot see this!

  6. Unfortunately, this is a view that transcends to other cultures as well. So sad to see that in this day and age bigotry of color still exists so strongly. When will we change?

  7. People can be very silly about the simplest of things, can't they?

  8. Really sad that this continues on in this day and age. I come from ancestors, on both sides, who married outside their race. Because of this my family goes from light to dark. This makes for a much more interesting looking family. We all look different and hopefully this helps us to judge people by what is inside and not what is outside.

    I myself have gone through what you write about even though I am pretty much white skinned. My mother-in-law (may she rest in peace) was happy with me until she learned about my ancestry that was not pure white. From that point on I suffered her dislike. But it finally stopped when many years later her other son's married dark skinned nonwhite women. Suddenly I was okay because she could pretend I was white. She never met most of her grandchildren and great grandchildren who are also of all colors. They go from dark skinned to light skin. Oh the justice that goes on in the world, sometimes it is so grand.

    The other thing that I have always thought was so funny is why do white skinned people work so hard to get a tan so that they look dark skinned. Is there not something wrong with that picture? I can only say that with more interracial marriages there will hopefully be born more and more people who see what is inside a person is more important than what is on the outside.

    It only takes one bad accident for someone to lose their outside looks, but what is inside stays forever.

    As far as I am concerned it is the families and their sons who lose out on the better wife. But it is such a sad lesson to learn.

    Thanks for being brave and writing about this. I think it is a sad secret kept in many dark skinned countries. I knew they did it in Africa but did not know it occurred in India. Very sad.

    God bless.

  9. @ Mrsupole: In India it does exists in some parts. Like mixed cultures, India is the country of mixed complexions. Fair skinned people do exist here and there are many sensible people who don’t think like this (Like me:)). And not only in India and Africa, it also exists in other countries. If you know about a reality show Big Brother, few years back some contestants were victim of colour discrimination in that show also. It is really sad but let’s hope it may change gradually.

    Thank you so much for liking this article:)

  10. @ Kris: Sometimes people think about insignificant things, ignoring the important aspects:)

    @ Rebecca: Yes, it is sad. Let's hope it may change someday soon:)

    @ Becca: Yes, you're right. Thanks:)

    @ Taylor: Thanks:)

    @ Brian: True. Thanks:)